io_uring: use non-intrusive list for defer

The only left user of req->list is DRAIN, hence instead of keeping a
separate per request list for it, do that with old fashion non-intrusive
lists allocated on demand. That's a really slow path, so that's OK.

This removes req->list and so sheds 16 bytes from io_kiocb.

Signed-off-by: Pavel Begunkov <asml.silence@gmail.com>
Signed-off-by: Jens Axboe <axboe@kernel.dk>