xprtrdma: Clean up disconnect

1. Ensure that only rpcrdma_cm_event_handler() modifies
   ep->re_connect_status to avoid racy changes to that field.

2. Ensure that xprt_force_disconnect() is invoked only once as a
   transport is closed or destroyed.

Signed-off-by: Chuck Lever <chuck.lever@oracle.com>
Signed-off-by: Anna Schumaker <Anna.Schumaker@Netapp.com>